Asgard IC Inbox

[teenyoda]

"Leave a message. I'm around. Or sleeping. Or... stuff."

Comments

[averagemedium]

Maybe I was just in the wrong circles for it-- and I am going to stop making you pies if you reference that one again, for the record.

[GUESS WHO HATED IT. Ryan is fonder of other weird dance crazes.]

I miss the internet and all, but there are parts of it I'm totally content with not seeing.

[teenyoda]

WHICH ONE? HARLEM SHAKE OR BITCH I MIGHT BE?

[Stiles munched another mouthful before falling over on his side with a huff. He was so full. But the pie was so goooood.]

I MISS PORN

[averagemedium]

Let's go with both, one I hate and one I don't get.

[And he is just starting to reach over to pet him at the porn comment. Noping back out.]

We are totally not talking about that. Definitely not when you're a small fuzzy animal.

[teenyoda]

[Stiles huffs again and turns his head to look up at Ryan.]

TAKE THE PRUDE STICK OUT OF YOUR BUTT

GUYS TALK ABOUT PORN

ITS WHAT WE DO

DOESNT MEAN WERE GOING TO JUST START HUMPING THINGS

[averagemedium]

Must've missed the Dude Memo or something-- but I don't really do discussion of porn or my sex life, okay, both of those are equally private.

['Private' who the hell are you kidding Ryan you have been wearing turtlenecks to work and it is goddamn obvious. You are not sixteen, bro.]

Nothing to do with thinking you're going to get weird about it, I just don't.

[teenyoda]

TOO BAD

OPEN IS THE WAY OF THE FUTURE

BETTER THAN KEEPING IT ALL BOTTLED UP

SOMETIMES YOU JUST WANNA KNOW STUFF

AND I GOTTA LIVE VICARIOUSLY THROUGH YOU PEOPLE

[averagemedium]

There is no way you don't have anyone else you can ask.

[Just staring at him, chin resting in one hand, elbow propped on his knee.]

You've got other guy friends, right? Don't you talk about it with them?

[teenyoda]

SCOTT DOESN'T LIKE TO TALK ABOUT ALLISONS MAGIC VAGINA

THATS ABOUT IT HERE

[averagemedium]

Okay, and what makes you think I'm going to be any more okay with discussing my end of things here, then.

[This is the most unimpressed look he can muster, Stiles.]

You really probably don't want to know anyway.

[teenyoda]

I HAD GAY FRIENDS BACK HOME

NOT LIKE ITS TALKING ABOUT DETAILS

JUST THAT I MISS PORN

[averagemedium]

[....oh fiiiiiiiine. He waves a hand vaguely in an equally unimpressed gesture.]

I don't. It was kind of depressing.

[teenyoda]

WHY?

[averagemedium]

Guess if you stay single and vaguely desperate long enough watching other people enjoy themselves loses its appeal?

[Shruuuug.]

Wasn't ever into it much, anyway. I like the written stuff better, if there are gonna be people screwing I want to know about their relationship-- also where it gets depressing.

[teenyoda]

WAIT

IT GETS WORSE?

PORN GETS BORING??

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[There was a muted whine that came from the fox before he put a paw over his muzzle.]

[averagemedium]

If you're just into it for the sex part then maybe you'll be fine?

[Chin up, little buddy, have a scritch.]

Regular porn started off kind of boring for me, don't read too much into that.

[teenyoda]

NOT LIKE I HAVE ANYTHING TO COMPARE IT TO

KIND OF ALL I GOT

[averagemedium]

...oh, god. Okay. It is nothing like how things really go, you know that, right?

[teenyoda]

I KNOW PIZZA DELIVERY DOES NOT END LIKE THAT

[averagemedium]

Not just the ridiculous set-ups. There's a lot of it that's... exaggerated, if not inaccurate.

[teenyoda]

PRETTY SURE NOT ALL GUYS HAVE DICKS THAT BIG

[averagemedium]

And most people who scream like that are probably faking it. --basically just forget nearly anything you learn from it, it's fantasy for a reason. Doesn't really reflect reality.

[teenyoda]

PRETTY FANTASY

WITH BIG BOOBS

[averagemedium]

Which you are probably never going to see in person.

[teenyoda]

IM NOT SEEING ANY BOOBS EVER

[averagemedium]

Come on, you're what... six, seventeen? [Total guess here, he doesn't really remember.] You're not even legal. There will be time for boobs, I promise you don't just keel over at twenty.